so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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