Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
