come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
