he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
