I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I forget how to act sober
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
