No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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