the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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