Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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