I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i believe in u and ur pee
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize