i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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