I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
