it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
