You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so explain again why im purple
no
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
