your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
