You're my little dorito
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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