I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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