He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My ass is underappreciated
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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