i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
