Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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