it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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