real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
