Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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