mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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