I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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