I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
