Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
