Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
