Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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