Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
