after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
