i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
