when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
