You really coming over, don't trick.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
