We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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