it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
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Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
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You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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