I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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