Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
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