it's too hot outside to masturbate.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I just got carded by a ten year old.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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