5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
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