Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize