Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
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I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize