I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize