A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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