I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
