I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So vagazzling was a success
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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