YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
