Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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