problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
