Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
