Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
