at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
