Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
