She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
