I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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