i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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