I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
