The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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