Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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