I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
